Is It For Me?
Millions of people are affected by the excessive drinking of someone close to them.
The following questions may help you determine if Al-Anon is for you.
DID YOU GROW UP WITH A
- Do you constantly seek approval and affirmation?
- Do you fail to recognize your accomplishments?
- Do you fear criticism?
- Do you overextend yourself?
- Have you had problems with your own compulsive behavior?
- Do you have a need for perfection?
- Are you uneasy when your life is going smoothly, continually anticipating problems?
- Do you feel alive in the midst of a crisis?
- Do you still feel responsible for others, as you did for the problem drinker in your life?
- Do you care for others easily, yet find it difficult to care for yourself?
- Do you isolate yourself from other people?
- Do you respond with fear to authority figures and angry people?
- Do you feel that individuals and society in general are taking advantage of you?
- Do you have trouble with intimate relationships?
- Do you confuse pity with love, as you did with the problem drinker?
- Do you attract and/or seek people who tend to be compulsive and/or abusive?
- Do you cling to relationships because you are a afraid of being alone?
- Do you often mistrust your own feelings and the feelings of others?
- Do you find it difficult to express your emotions?
- Do you think someone’s drinking may have affected you?
ARE YOU TROUBLED BY
- Do you worry about how much someone else drinks?
- Do you have money problems because of someone else’s drinking?
- Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking?
- Do you feel if the drinker loved you, he or she would stop drinking to please you?
- Do you blame the drinker’s behavior on his or her companions?
- Are plans frequently upset or canceled, or meals delayed because of the drinker?
- Do you make threats, such as, “If you don’t stop drinking, I’ll leave you”?
- Do you secretly try to smell the drinker’s breath?
- Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a drinking bout?
- Have you been hurt or embarrassed by a drinker’s behavior?
- Are holidays and gatherings spoiled because of drinking?
- Have you considered calling the police for help in fear of abuse?
- Do you search for hidden alcohol?
- Do you often ride in a car with a driver who has been drinking?
- Have you refused social invitations out of fear or anxiety?
- Do you sometimes feel like a failure when you think of the lengths you have gone to in order to control the drinker?
- Do you think that if the drinker stopped drinking, your other problems would be solved?
- Do you ever threaten to hurt yourself to scare the drinker?
Are You Growing up in a Family with Drinking? (Is Alateen for you?)
- Do you believe no one could possibly understand how you feel?
- Do you cover up your real feelings by pretending you don’t care?
- Do you feel nobody really loves you or cares what happens to you?
- Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking or what’s happening in your home?
- Do you stay out of the house as much as possible because you hate it there?
- Are you afraid or embarrassed to bring your friends home?
- Has someone’s drinking upset you?
- Are holidays and gatherings spoiled because of drinking or others’ reactions to the drinking?
- Are you afraid to speak up sometimes for fear it will set off a drinking bout or start another fight?
- Do you think the drinker’s behavior is caused by you, other members of your family, friends, or rotten breaks in life?
- Do you make threats such as, “If you don’t stop drinking and fighting, I’ll run away”?
- Do you make promises about behavior, such as, “I’ll get better grades,” “go to church,” or “keep my room clean” in exchange for a promise that the drinking and fighting stop?
- Do you feel that if your mom or dad loved you, she or he would stop drinking?
- Do you ever threaten or actually hurt yourself to scare your parents into saying “I’m sorry,” or “I love you”?
- Do you or your family have money problems because of someone else’s drinking?
- Are mealtimes frequently stressful or delayed because of drinking or fighting?
- Have you considered calling the police because of the abusive behavior in your home?
- Have you refused dates because your date may find out about the drinking or fighting?
- Do you think your problems would be solved if the drinking stopped?
- Do you ever treat people (teachers, schoolmates, teammates, etc.) unjustly because you are angry at someone else for drinking too much?